14.2, HOUSE HUNTING LEADS US TO BEACONSFIELD
Back to early 1969 and I'm starting my new
job in Montreal CN Headquarters and must therefore search for a nice new
home for our family. In a place like Montreal there are many options so
I looked by myself or together with Anne when she could come here. We looked
at possibilities in Montreal West, Town of Montreal, St. Lambert, Pte.Claire
and Beaconsfield. Because our house in Toronto had appreciated in value
we felt we could go for a really nice home with four bedrooms. We didn't
find one that suited us in St.Lambert or Pointe Claire. There was a nice
one in the Town of Montreal, where we could use the electric commuter
service through the Mountain to downtown, but it was part of an estate
and it looked as though the legal encumbrances would take some time to
get solved so we had to pass on that one. There was a good raised ranch
style brick house in Montreal West for $40,000 which we thought we could
afford. Anne didn't like the stairs involved in the raised ranch style
and also that it had insufficent lot size to permit her any scope in her
gardening. Also for the same money it boiled down to the fact that we could
get a better house on a good sized lot in Beaconsfield for the same amount
of money.
That's a summary of the preliminary hunting
which was largely done by myself as Anne had to stay in Toronto with the
children. However, by means of the telephone and weekend trips home by
train together with photos of what I had seen I was pretty well able to
keep her au fait with what was going on. It was then time to get her to
come to Montreal for a long weekend with the hope that we could finalize
a choice. In the first two days we looked at the properties I have mentioned
above and from that we confirmed that we should concentrate on the Beaconsfield-Lakeshore
area. I agreed on the basis that we should get a place within 15 mins.
walk of a rail commuter station as I no longer wished to drive to work
as I had been doing in Toronto. Though I showed Anne a place in Point Claire,
and some in Beaconsfield she finally chose one in Beaconsfield on Sherwood
Road. It looked good and had Dutch colonial style which we liked, but I
noticed that the outside cladding had been poorly installed on the front
and the hot air furnace pipes in the basement were at a low level
instead of being tucked between the floor joists. She was disappointed
and tired from what had been busy days of hunting so she said I'd
have to go it alone from there on. I looked further in the same district
and found another slightly larger house which looked good from the outside.
She had gone back to the hotel so the next day, which was Sunday I brought
her out to see it. I can still recall her enthusism when she saw it and
said, "Oh those lovely trees" and when we looked through the front door
window, "Oh those lovely hardwood floors and that lovely curving staircase!"
It was Sunday and we did not know who the agent was, so we went across
the street and asked. Fortunately,
we were met by a nice lady who said their house had been sold by the same
agent. She offered to phone the agent who came out and showed us through
the place which had five bedrooms and was nicely finished throughout. The
master bedroom in particular was dream, it had an adjoining loft with a
casement window overlooking the street and we could simply imagine ourselves
enjoying Sunday morning coffee there! At $41,500 it was a little more than
the Dutch style one we had rejected, but it was worth the money; moreover,
it had a 30 year mortgage with a payment of $475 per month for principle,
interest and taxes! So we ageed to the deal the very next day and
that's how we got to live at 220 Sherwood Road for the rest of our time
in Montreal! (see photo of house). Incidentally, the nice lady who lived
across the street was Anne Holt, who with her husband Barry and their children
were to become among our best friends with whom we still keep in touch
30 years later!
14.3 NEW JOB, ASSISTANT CHIEF OF TRANSPORTATION, (PLANNING)
With the general re-shuffle on the Great Lakes
Region as outlined earlier the finger then pointed to me. Through the suggestion
of Charlie Armstrong who had moved from Area Manager in London to Chief
of Transportation in Montreal I was asked if I would become his assistant
for transportation planning. This was logical enough because of my transportation
engineering and operating experience over the past sixteen years. The job
offered plenty of scope for planning new locomotive acquisitions, main
line upgrading projects (such as re-building and signalling the Prince
Rupert line to handle more grain) and new yard projects such as improvements
in the Edmonton area where there was growing congestion. Some input and
control was also required in connection with the regions' annual capital
budgets to check such things as return on investment (using the discounted
cash flow method).
Thus the job was very interesting and included
occupation of a nice office on the 15th floor of the relatively new headquarters
building (siege social, en francais) at 935 La Gauchetiere West in downtown
Montreal. I was able to commute to work on Canadian Pacific by walking
to Baie d'Urfe station in winter and riding my bike to Beaconsfield station
in summer. This was the ideal way to go as the 40 minute train ride gave
me time to read the morning paper and also read reoorts and correspondence
relating to work. It also provided more exercise than the car driving routine
I had followed in Toronto and resulted in getting my weight down from 185
lbs to l65!
CHAPTER 15, LOSS OF ANNE, PERSONAL GRIEF, FAMILY & JOB EVENTS
15.1, LOSS OF ANNE AND PERSONAL GRIEF
While work related matters were going along
fine the black hand of cancer was to produce a tragedy for us all. Anne
was the most healthy person that one could imagine and up until about 1966
had had very little illness. After all she didn't smoke and didn't drink
and prpared and ate such healthful meals that we used to call her "the
Rabbit". About the only thing there had been was the removal of a lympona
from one of her legs when we lived in Moncton and this was said to be benign.
While we were in Toronto she had developed a cancer in her breast and it
was removed through mastectomy in 1967.
From then on we were living under the shadow
of that awful word "remission" the word "cured" never being used
concerning cancer. Just as we were hoping in 1970 that she would soon be
clear for five years she started complaining of a sore hip and leg
and the doctor did not connect it to cancer and recommended therapy and
exercises. I can still see her pursuing the exercises at home and it was
painful for her to do them. Finally, she went to a specialist who took
a bone sample and identified it as bone cancer. Our family doctor, Dr.
Newby-Good apologized for not having detected it sooner and he later gave
me the bad news that it was nearly always fatal.
15.2, ANNE'S DECLINE
From then on it was an agonizing case of watching
her go through all of the then known radical treatments. The local
cancer committee decided that chemotherapy was not the way to go.
She took cortisone, and she wept to me briefly because it caused her body
to swell up. Still more terrible things lay down the road, the doctors
decided to operate and remove her ovaries which sometimes will arrest cancer.
I visited her in the acute recovery room in Point Claire hospital; she
was feeling badly with much pain and murmered to me, "will I ever get through
this terrible day"!
Toward the latter part of 1970 she was still
managing to get around and Madame LeBlanc helped with the housework. Late
in November we decided to arrange a home exhibition of her paintings.
As mentioned before, art was a key thing in her life and it meant a great
deal to her. We mounted various works of her choice on stands in the living
room and dining room and invited most of our neighbors. Anne dressed
up in her best and sat on a chair in the centre of the group and explained
what the subject was in each work and what was the method by or medium
in which it was produced, whether oil, watercolor, silk screen, or monoprint.
All in all it was a most wonderful day which she truly enjoyed. As her
condition worsened and she was confined most of the time to a hospital
cot I had installed near the patio windows in the family room she continued
to
paint. Sadly, the day came when she realized she could no longer carry
on and she asked us to pack up her easel and brushes and put them away-
forever!
While it was obvious by this rejection of
painting that she was aware of her decline and prepared to
acknowledge it, there was an earlier incident which must remain etched
in my mind and in the minds of the three children. Her father, George Walker
and his companion Nan used to go to Arizona or California every winter.
George kindly offered to take Anne with him for a rest and to try a different
climate. Anne said, "No, my place is here with my husband and children."
It was another
typical statement from a courageous wife and mother who had given so
much in her active days to developing and running a home for us all!
As the disease increased its hold on her,
darker moments closed in. The cancer has mestartisised to the point where
it was infecting her brain and tumors were causing the neuron wires to
get crossed. For example, on one occasion we were feeding her with a spoon
and she kept insisting her cheek was where her mouth was. On another occasion
she was insistent that there was a glass curtain between her and the room
so she could not get up. I had to react to this fantasy and said I would
get some scissors to cut the curtain. When I pretended to cut it she agreed
it had been cut open so that she could then get out.
Toward the end, a most fantastic thing took
place which to this day intrigues me as an indication of entry to another
world. On this occasion I went into the family room to visit with Anne
and she appeared to be sleeping deeply, although I do not think she was
really breathing very much. She did not respond to my voice or to lighter
touches and I became alarmed. This went on for several minutes and
finally she responded to firmer shaking. When her eyes opened she looked
at me and said, "Sweetheart, you have just saved me; it was night and I
was in a dark boat with a boatman who was ferrrying me across the river
to the other world, but when you wakened me I was able to return here!"
It was the most other-worldly experience of my whole life (I am writing
this in January, 2000).
In wrapping up her life as she knew
the end was approaching we had discussions on the children. Robin was still
taking electrical engineering at the University of Toronto and was doing
well in his studies and Maria was taking a course in Environmental Studies
at Carleton University in Ottawa. She came home most weekends and Robin
less frequently. Jim alone was still at home, 14 years of age and attending
Beaconsfield High School. Anne felt content that she had done all she could
reasonably have done in raising Robin and Maria who were now moving out
into the world on their own, but she knew that Jim 's raising was not yet
complete. She said to me, "I can no longer do much for Jim, he's yours".
Not long afterwards in the month of April 1971 her condition worsened to
the extent she had to return to the hospital even though we had a full-time
nurse in the house. Myself and Jim and the other children when home continued
to visit her there each evening thinking the road leading there was our
own "via dolorosa" so to speak. The doctor looking after her said she could
not live as her condition continued to decline. Then, it got so I could
not communicate with her except by scratching her head, which she knew
was me because she had always enjoyed me scratching her head. I can still
remember that it was room 375 in Point Claire hospital where she was.
On May 7, I got a call at the office
from the doctor saying her breathing was very light and declining. By the
time I had got to the hospital she was gone! Here was a once beautiful
woman, dead at age 48. In the 22 years were had been married she had borne
and raised the three children, run the household and looked after us all,
yet she never lived to reap the benefits nor continue to pursue her beloved
art! I held her hand and started to recite the Lord's Prayer until
interrupted by the nurse who seemed insentitive to what I was saying. I
went home to tell her dad, George Walker and Nan who had come in from Winnipeg
earlier when I had told them she could not last long.
15.3, BURIAL IN POINTE CLAIRE
Arrangements were made to bury Anne in our
area because it then seemed I would be living there for a long time and
I did not know any other location to which I might move. As we were at
this time family members of Beaconsfield United Church we arranged for
the funeral service to be conducted at the local funeral home by the Rev.
Eric McIlwain of that church.
The service was held May l0 and
was very well attended. The neighbors all turned out in force and a goodly
number of my railway associates and their wives. Because she loved flowers
we asked that any tributes should be in that form. As a result there was
a tremendous response (see photo).
She was not cremated and her body was held in an open coffin at the
funeral parlor. The service went well but there was a terrible glitch in
the burial arrangement---it had to be announced at the end of the service
that burial could not take place until the following day; the reason being
that the excavator used for digging the graves had broken down. I was upset
by this but there was nothing I could do. So, on the following morning,
May 11, our little family rode in the dark limousine in silence to attend
the committal service in Pointe Claire cemetery. The Rev. McIlwain again
officiated. with only our family, including George and Nan in attendance.
I took a flower from the many which were stacked around and threw
it onto the coffin in the ground with the hopefull words of Christian teaching,
"till we meet again"!
And there she still lies, on a beautiful long
slope toward the lakeshore with many trees that she loved so much waving
in the breezes. Yes, there is a suitable red granite headstone inscribed
with her name and dates with space for my own. On the bottom I had a tribute
to her life which she might herself have requested, namely "She was an
Artist"!
15.5, NEIGHBORLY SUPPORT
In this time of people supposedly living as
strangers in the urban-suburban environment created by the 20th century
living style I was overwhelmed by the tremendous support of our neighbors.
They not only supported us in our grief but they arranged to provide
luncheon after the memorial service whihc was helds in our back yard. This
was something that had always been traditional in our small town family
and I was so happy that were able to gather with friends to honor
Anne's memory in this way. Not was this the end of it, for months afterward
we were the recipients of cakes and other food delivered to the door by
the Tunnells. the Glinskis, the Holts, the Olivers, the Bachelors
and Mary ? up the hill. I never cease to marvel at how all those good people
continued to help me through what surely the darkest time of my life. My
feelings were expressed by a song which was popular at the time; I can
no longer remember much of it, but the line that sticks in my mind was
to the effect, "there's something gone wrong with my dream". George
Walker and his friend Nan stayed with us for a time and I remember Nan
comforting me one day and taking me out for a drink at Altitude 737 in
Place Ville Marie. After two strong manhattans she got me to relax and
talk and that helped me quite a bit.
Another person who helped me a good deal at
the time was my boss, Charlie Armstrong. He and his wife Nene would
invite Jim and I to visit them on weekends at their cottage on Lake ? in
the Laurentians. They had a power boat so we were able to learn to water
ski, (me at age 50). There was also a tennis court at their neighbors so
we were able to get some good games going there. I shall always remain
appreciative of Charlie's solicitude in helping us in this way to work
though our grief .
15.6, SPIRITUAL HELP IN RECOVERY
A positive help in losing Anne was a spiritual
change in my life where I now began to realize that no matter how self-sufficient
I had prided myself on being, there comes a time in one's life where one
needs outside support.I had something to fall back on in that I had been
exposed to Christian teaching from earliest childhood on. For perhaps one
of the few times in my life I was strongly struck by the Christian message
of support though all adversity and this was most powerfully expressed
through the 23rd Psalm which had been read at Anne's funeral service. That
is the one which begins "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want". It
brought tears to my eyes when I heard it then and still does so to-day,
particularly when it is sung in church. I have indeed since recommended
its message of help and comfort to any of my friends who have been afflicted
by a family loss.
15.7, STATUS OF THE CHILDREN
Robin, as mentioned earlier, was attending
University in Toronto when his mother died. To get in touch with him urgently
I had to go through a pal of his whose father was a top executive in Canadian
Westinghouse. He was a man I had last met at the end of the war when he
was released from his duties as a Radar Maintenance Officer with the British
Royal Navy in the Mediterranean. His release was secured at the time so
he could obtain passage to Canada with us on HMCS "Algonquin". Even though
I was the ship's Electrical Officer there was agreat deal about our four
radar sets that I didn't know but he was able to tune up our sets to make
them more efficient during our trip back.
Robin, in addition to his studies was still
interested in motor cycles, and during his stay at home during the summer
he did some tinkering in his spare time while working part time at CN's
stores dept. He also later took off with some pals motor cycling to the
west, where he visited Grandad Walker at Laclu and my mum and dad at Rivers.
Maria, who was at Concordia in Ottawa was
home for the funeral and also for part of the summer. She was 18 at the
time and I did not want her to feel she had to stay at home and look after
me, so when my sister Mary invited her to come to Langley and stay with
she and Jim Clark while working at picking berries I agreed to her going.
Not long afterwards I got a phone call from her saying whe had obtained
a job as assistant cook at a dude ranch near 100 Mile House in the Caribou
District and would I send her Mum's best cook book!
So I was left with only Jim, who was 14, still
at home. He was the one most affected by the loss of his mother and not
as good at school as he might otherwise have been. While I did have a part
time house-keeper the house was not always watched over with the result
that it became at times a haven for some parties with his young companions
from Beaconsfield High School. Some of these were of an age where they
were into drinking beer. I managed to control this to a degree by pouring
their supples down the sink whenever I caught them at it. Years later,
when we moved out of the Beaconsfield house I found traces of pot that
had been stashed in the basement; such were the common temptations of youth
in Jim's day! Complaints of his missing classes at school, (particularly
French) were of concern to me. On one occasion I took time off from work
to attend "Ecole de Neige" up in the Laurentians where teachers and parents
could go with them to learn about the poperties of snow and ice and participate
in sports in the afternoon. It was a good scheme for a midwinter break.
On the positive side that winter Jim started
to earn money in his spare time by clearing neighbors driveways from snow
during the storms endemic to Montreal winters. He used my little 4 hp snowblower
at first, but I later got him a 7 hp John Deere. He did well with this
and eventually ran it as a small business, contracting with some of the
neighbors for regular service, hiring one of his pals as a paid helper
and paying all the cost of operating the snow blower. He netted enough
during the
two winters he did this to buy himself a new bike and a new pair of
skis.
15.8, WORK, AND THE STARTUP OF "TRACS"
All during Anne's travail and decline I was
of course continuig my job downtown. The most interesting thing was the
realization that one of the new technological developments, computer systems
could offer great improvement to railways in all departments. It was already
being used for the payroll task, but the realization was growing that it
could do much more. The Southern Pacific Railway in the U.S. together with
IBM had developed and implemented an on-line, real-time transaction oriented
system.This was able, through punch card input/output terminals and large
type 360 main frame computers to keep up to the minute track of all freight
cars, locomotives and waybills no matter what their location or status!
We had become aware of it through railway publications and though IBM;
moreover, our own computer department was already studying design
of a system for CN.
Charlie Armstrong took it up with vigour and Ernie
Gilliatt and I soon found that much if our time was taken up looking into
its potential for CN. Before deciding to go ahead on our own it was decided
to take a detailed look at the Southern Pacific system which was called
TOPS (for Total Operations Processing System) and a team of about half
a dozen from Transportation and Cybernetic (i.e. computer) services
was sent to San Francisco to look into it. We spent a week there visiting
their computer centre, yard offices, yards and stations to see TOPS at
work. We were favorbly impressed and, because SP and IBM were offering
the computer software progams to toother North American railways for free
our report concluded that we could do the job cheaper and also two years
quicker using TOPS than if we pursued the course of designing our own.
Our own computer people who had pride in their work were a bit disappointed
but as the conclusions carried conviction they went along with the decision
which was to go ahead with a special project to implement the system on
CN. Eric Stephenson who was Vice President of Cybernetic Services and Jack
Spicer who was Vice President of Operations took it to top management for
approval. Eric held out to have it report through his department and Jack
agreed as long as the project manager was an operations officer. It was
decided to call our system TRACS (Traffic Reporting and Control Systems)
and the project was set up starting Feb. l, 1971. I do not know who
all were considered for the job, but I when I was asked by Eric Stephenson
if I would be willing to head it up as Project Manager I said "yes". If
I can blow my own horn a bit I feel I was as good a choice as they could
make, there were not too many officers around who had university training
in engineering, served as transportation engineers on the railway and had
operating line experience from the level of Division Assistant Superintendent
to General Superintendent of Transportation with knowledge of
the Atlantic Region and the Great Lakes Region, time at System Headquarters
and even some knowledge of track work and locomotive mechanical from
my experiences in Rivers, Man. and Canadian Locomotive in Kingston, Ont!
First step was to assemble a staff and we
got the best we had in CN. In particular, from the computer department
we got Jim Williams, Al Pozniak, Murray Bain and many others. The same
was true from operations, people such as Pete Leggatt, Charlie Krukowski,
and many more. Next was our need for space and we got a nice place on Rue
Rene Levesque, in the 2nd floor of a building which was still part of the
CN complex so we could walk to the main CN building through the station
concourse. For desks and other furniture we used what we could get from
CN stores. It was not enough and we initially supplemented it with heavy
cardboard temporary desks until proper new ones could be obtained. It is
worth noting that we just paid $7.50 per sq. ft. per year for the rental
which would be cheap by to-day's standards for downtown accomodation.
In the next chapter I will deal with
other family matters including a new major step in my personal family life!
After covering that I will return to the work subject of TRACS and its
implementation.